The Pleasurable and Painful Things about Friends

For as long as I can remember, I was always the one caught in the middle of the drama that goes on within my friendships. I never understood why, and to this day I still don’t. There are so many things that go unanswered, and I always wonder why these kinds of things happen to me. Maybe it’s because I chose the wrong group of friends. Sometimes I think to myself “What did I do to put myself in this situation?” Then it comes to my mind that everything happens for a reason, and sometimes life doesn’t go according to plan. In life, I realize that not everyone you meet will be your friends and for those that are your friends, the friendship will sometimes go untested.


I have experienced a lot with my friends, and for one thing not all the experiences were pleasurable. I remember during my freshman year in high school, how I became friends with Melissa and Liz, and the friends that I have known for many years didn’t really talk to me. It’s as if I did something wrong because I made new friends, but I realized that they’re doing it out of jealousy. I think one of the painful aspects that occur in friendship is the jealousy that goes on between girls. Something I realize is that when you become friends with other girls, jealousy arises amongst the other group because they feel that you have drifted away from them. I think it is in a girl’s nature to feel jealous and this is when all the other painful aspects of friendship arise. For example, through the occurrence of jealousy, gossip and betrayal arises lies. I don’t expect the best or the worst out of my friends. I just expect them to be who they are without pretending to be something they are not.


Aside from the painful aspects of friendship there are also pleasurable ones. For me, my friends are the third most important people on my list. Friends are here for the laughter and the tears. What brings us together is not the fact that we share many things in common, but the pleasure we share through the good times that we have experienced together. Tehyi Hsieh says “Life is partly what we make it and partly what is made by the friends whom we choose.” This is true because although friends come and go, the pleasure comes in meeting new friends. The people we meet in college will be our friends forever. Friends are here to encourage each other to be the best that we can be, and to lead each other to the good life. We want what’s best for each other and this is how you know who your real friends are.


Through my friendships I have experienced many things and I also learned a lot. I learned that you can’t trust just anyone. You have to get to know the person, and that in friendships there will always be a painful experience, but you just have to deal with it. If you made a mistake with the friends that you choose, all you have to do is move on and find a group of friends that are of positive influence and character. Through our friends is how we learn; we learn through interacting with one another. It is as simple as you learn from your mistake and call it a lesson learned.